Being a single parent is incredible. In many ways, I find it easier than I imagine having a partner would be. I don't have to manage another relationship in the house. I don't have to answer to anyone else, or try to please anyone else besides my daughter or myself.
However...it can be lonely, yes. There are certainly times when I'd like another adult to talk to or to watch stupid TV with. And when Kiddo is giving me a hard time, it would be nice to have someone else there to back me up, or take over for a little bit.
It feels like such an awesome responsibility, raising this little person all by myself. It feels like it, because it is! And if I really let myself think about it too deeply, I will freak out. Thinking about things like college, and braces make me want to just bury my head in the sand. Not to mention all the other things that strike fear in my heart...the teenage years. Bullying. Internet safety. Driver's license. The list actually goes on and on. Breath, Lisa, breath...
I am very, very blessed that as it stands now, Kiddo is healthy, happy and doing great in school. I actually feel she is a great kid in spite of my parenting. She can have no doubt that I love her to pieces. I tell her and show her that constantly. But I fully admit that I have my shortcomings as a parent. I am not always great at setting limits and sticking to them. I get super grumpy when I'm tired. I don't particularly have a lot of patience. I try not to, but I do yell sometimes. I can be lazy and let her watch too much TV. I don't keep a spotless house by any means. I haven't started a college fund for her yet. (Kinda trying to keep the damn rent paid right now, ya know)
So often I feel like she is so much better than I deserve.
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