So on Friday, I got fired

Photo courtesy of Google Images

I'm in shock, sort of. I knew something not good was up when my supervisor requested to meet with me a week earlier than we were already scheduled to. A little background: Things at work have not been good for a while now. I've been unmotivated and really behind on my paperwork. So...chronic low productivity and late paperwork=me getting the axe. I am mortified. I can't understand why or how I let this happen. It's like standing on a train track, knowing full well that you shouldn't be there, and having plenty of time and opportunity to move before the train comes. You are fully capable of moving off the track in order to avoid getting run over by the train. You don't want to get run over, yet you do nothing to prevent it. You just stand there and let it happen. And then you are devastated that the train ran over you, even though you actually caused it to happen, and could totally have prevented it. That is how I am feeling. Mortified, scared, all of it. I am not at all sorry to be leaving this job. But I sure didn't want to go out this way. They are giving me 2 or 3 weeks left there, and are letting me "resign." And they won't fight unemployment. And my supervisor said she will give me a positive reference. It was a nice firing, as far as firings go, I guess. This has been a tough weekend, sitting with all this. I've tried to hold it together for Kiddo, and succeeded. I haven't told a soul about this, I'm so ashamed. I mean, who does this? Slacks off so much for so long at their job that they actually get fired? It's beyond embarrassing. Kiddo and I had dinner Sunday night at my parents' and I couldn't say a word about it. I could never tell them what happened. They would be disappointed in me, angry (at me) and stressed. So no, I feel like enough of a wreck without their input. No thanks. Right now, I am applying for jobs and starting to wrap things up at work. Getting fired, even kindly, just sucks.